LOL. Anything but diet and exercise...

This really shows how smart Harvard makes you. All the fossil shit burning vehicles would wrap bumper to bumper around the planet a thousand times over, but you'll choke out just the same in that pickup you never use if we tape your lips to the tailpipe, kneel you on a skateboard and drive down to the Twin Cities. Right now, it's anyone's guess if the CO2 emissions in the atmosphere twenty years from now will get you first, you succumb to the antibiotic-resistant brain-eating virus of 2020 A.D, or simply die of a stroke from missing the next episode of Survivor after the Russians shut down the grid, invade for resources, and turn Orangey's opalescent nutsack into a private tobacco pouch for Vladimir Putin.

But if things get so bad that folks everywhere are moving to Duluth out of desperation, we can only assume this means we're finally at or just shy of that special juncture in our evolutionary shit-creek timeline we've all been waiting for -- the Flesh Eating Zombie Apocalypse. Then you can lock yourself in the attic of your nice new Duluth home while you paint your bullets, pick off the ticks, and maybe a few of your neighbors who went berzerk when the virus took hold. And everything will be happily ever after.

Amazon paid zero dollars income tax last year which helps Jeffrey Bezos build his rocket ship to get the fuck off the planet before that happens. You think Doctor Evil wants you to tag along? You better think twice or be a really hot young blond ready to blow old squinty eye for all eternity if you plan on saving yourself. Or you could just stop letting big money run the show, and do the right thing.